Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
