He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
