U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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