we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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