Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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