BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
