He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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