no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
