I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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