I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
