problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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