bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
