No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
