There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
