Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You did what with his pubic hair?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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