If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize