he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
