Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
