I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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