4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Girls should come with a carfax report
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
