I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize