so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
