My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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