You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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