between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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