I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
