I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize