Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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