I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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