I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
