party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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