I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Blood and glitter go together right?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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