Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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