i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
