How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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