it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
