Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
