I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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