Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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