I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
