yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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