She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
