apparently the secret to your success is patron
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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