can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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