She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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