I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
