Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
