I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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