I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
