if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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