Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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