Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize