My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
