The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
