My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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