there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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