this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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