Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
