I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
