If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
